Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Commons - A YA novel

Alright, I know that I just posted yesterday, but I have been shown a very interesting link by a friend.  One that brought me to a contest.  And, as I pointed out in my blog yesterday, I may be slightly competitive, and so find that I am unable to resist entering this.  Check out Brenda Drake's Blog for further details.  Unfortunately the contest ends tomorrow, but I'm hoping that at least some of you get to see this.  Anyway, the entry is requested on the blog as well as in the comments, so here goes:

Title: The Commons
Genre: YA dystopian
Word Count: 101,000

Pitch:  At the end of the Great War, the world split into two societies: The Commons and The Techs.  Now the two worlds are about to collide, and neither will ever be the same again.

First 150 words:

Once these streets had been filled with tall buildings. Large concrete structures where the people went to work every day. Streets that spanned for miles that were constantly jammed with an endless stream of cares. It was hard to believe that this was all that was left. Only one grey building stretched up to the sky, but even the top of that one was jagged and unstable. The rest of the street consisted mostly of piles of concrete.

It was an all too familiar sight to Arisa, who had been travelling to all the city ruins. Each one seemed to be worse than the last, until she had arrived here. She did not know what city it had once been, but from the remains she would guess it had been hit hard in the great war.

Arisa let these thoughts run through her head as she stared around herself.


  1. I write dystopian too, and man those 2-sentence pitches are freaking hard to nail - talk about your MC, then let us in on her world.
    As for your opening scene, maybe bring some action, trouble, tension - anything to make it come alive. Good luck:)

  2. Oh, man! This really sets the tone. Way to go! Best of luck to you, Danni. :o)