Normally I procrastinate so much that I don't get much done. Especially when I'm editing. I find it so hard to make myself actually want to start fixing and changing my story. You all know exactly how much I love editing, of course, and I am very good at making sure I do everything but the editing that I'm supposed to be doing.
In a conversation with a friend this week (one B. A. Matthews) I started expressing my frustration with the fact that I'm really not getting anywhere with my stories. That was when I realized something. I can't be frustrated with not going anywhere, because the reason I'm not is because of all the procrastinating I've been doing. It's not my manuscript's fault that I'm looking everywhere but at it. It's not my characters' fault when they're constantly shouting at me about what they want to happen in the next book, or the one after that. I can't write those stories, though, not when I'm not even done the first book.
No, there's only one person at fault in this whole scenario, and it's me.
I've been getting frustrated with myself. I claim to want to write for a living. To want to be a published author who is taken seriously and has a following, but how can I do that when I'm playing useless games on facebook instead of editing or writing? How can I say that I want fans, when I can't guarantee that I'll be able to focus enough on the story in front of me to get it past the first draft?
So I'm making a new promise tonight. I've done this before, I know. I've committed myself to my writing more times than I can really count, but I'm still going to do it again, and I'm hoping to actually stick with it.
My first promise: I am going to stop complaining about editing. Especially on my blog. I'm sure you're all as tired to hear it as I am to type it out. Because, let's face it, complaining about editing is really just another way to avoid doing it. And that's just a vicious cycle that I'll never be rid of if I let myself continue down that road.
My second promise: Get my manuscript out to beta readers by May 15th. I currently have 2 beta readers anxiously awaiting (at least in my head) the arrival of my manuscript. Having an actual due date, rather than an arbitrary goal, I'm hoping that I can actually do it. I'm also still looking for a third beta reader. If anyone's interested, please let me know.
My third promise: I'm going to go out of my way to try and find someway to like editing. It may never work, but I'm certainly going to try. I don't want to spend my entire life hating this part of writing, so I just have to look for that part of it that I like and latch onto it.
I'm hoping that I can keep these promises for longer than I've kept most of my previous ones (for the record, I have stuck with getting my blog posts up, but none of my editing/writing promises have been stuck to.)
Now it's time for me to start putting these promises into action.