The Last Day

Today is the last day of nano, and although I have already technically won, my own personal goal was 300k, and I'm not quite there yet. In fact, as of right now, I'm about 7.5k away from it. But that doesn't mean that I get to forget to do another blog post. (I don't know what it is about the end of this month, but not only am I having troubles motivating myself, convincing myself I can, in fact, continue to write at the pace I set for myself at the beginning of the month, but I also seem to be forgetting my blog...)

Anyway, I don't actually have a clear topic for this post, as I am currently writing it between word wars (In the hopes that I can actually hit my 300k). I find it easier to just not have a topic than trying to remember it while writing my story. You understand.

So, on this the last day of nano, I'm finding myself torn. On one hand, I am so happy that I can just sleep tomorrow. (Though, as my ML pointed out, I probably will start editing) but on the other hand, I wish that November was longer. That I could continue to write for hours each day and have an excuse to ignore everything else.

How is it that I can be so conflicted over something like this? I realize that tomorrow I will wake up and be oh so thankful that it is over. That I can watch my shows and not feel guilty that I'm not writing. That I can look forward to each weekend without having to calculate just how much I'll have to write each day just to catch up to my goal.

I may read an entire book tomorrow. Just saying.

Either way, while I will be mourning the loss of this month, and marvel at how quickly it went by, I will still be thankful that I don't have to keep up this pace forever. That I can take a breather. That I can stop being obsessed with a graph, and base my life around it.

Of course, my break will be short. While I wont be picking up this same crazy pace (writing a novel in 10 days?? Yep...craziness) I will be editing. One novel will be going into the ABNA contest in January. Another will need to be edited so I can start querying (which I fully intend to do next year...don't worry...you'll get to hear all about it right here on my blog!! Excited, aren't you?) And the third will be given to my critique group so they can tell me everything that's wrong with it.

I have a full year ahead of me, and I'm hoping to report back next year that it is going well. But that does not mean that I need to lose sleep over it (though really, that's more up to my characters than me) and it does not mean that I have to be attached to my computer for hours on end every day.

Tomorrow I fully intend to take a bit of a computer break. Although I may start planning for next year's nano ^.~

The Last Few Days

Here we are, in the last week of nano (actually only two days left after today). Depending on where you are with your goal, you'll be doing one of three things.

If you are behind the next three days you're going to be obsessed with hitting that mark no matter what you have to do to get there. (Some of the people who are behind don't think they can do it, and perhaps that is true, but remember that the 50k is just a suggestion. If you lower it, that doesn't mean you lose. You still wrote those words, and that is something to be proud of.)

If you are on schedule, you're probably sitting pretty. You probably have the next two days completely planned out and know exactly what you're going to do on each day, and you're ready for anything that life throws at you, because you know that you can make. (I congratulate anyone in this category. You still have a ways to go, but I know that you're going to finish!)

If you are ahead, you're probably thinking that this was not nearly as hard as you thought, and you've already forgotten all of those days that the world interfered, and for just a second you were worried that you weren't going to finish. Then , when you hit that 50k, you jumped for joy, and might have even gloated to your friends. Take a break the next two days (or write a bit more to see how far you can get) Either way, I hope you hold your head high, because you have done an amazing feat!

As for me, I am on track. I know that I can finish with my current word count as long as I continue to write for the next two days. As long as I don't let myself slack off. But somehow I seem to be falling more into the first category. All I want to do is write. A week ago I was wondering if I should just stop at 200k, and now I'm sitting at work thinking about all the words I could get getting if I was at home. I just want to keep going and finish this novel, even though I am fairly certain it is going to exceed my goal.

This isn't exactly a strange feeling for me. Last nano I had a similar experience, except then it was because I finished on the 15^th and realized that I wanted to see how much more I could do, and so I just kept writing. This year it feels more like I've rallied in these last few weeks. I was getting so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, and I had this voice in my ear telling me that two novels and 200k was enough. Did I really need to climb all the higher? And not I'm wishing there were more days in November so that I could write more.

At the same time, though, I cannot wait for Thursday, as I'm planning on sleeping all day.

Nano can leave you feeling conflicted. Throughout the month you go through a rollercoaster. One minute thinking that you are never going to get published, because who would publish this crap. The next unable to believe you wrote that, and look, you're a writer! It's an experience. One that most people don't understand because they aren't doing it. It's one that you'll never forget, even if you only do it once. It's one that helps you define yourself, not just in your writing, but also in who you are as a person.

So whether you cross that finish line, or find yourself a few words short, I have to congratulate every person who did this. You took that step. You pushed yourself. And you showed the world that you are not a coward.

Getting Overwhelmed

It's the twelve hour write in today, which means that I have absolutely no time to think of and plan out a blog post. So I'm going to just wing it like a usually do. Here goes:

When November first started, if I fell a little behind, I remember thinking it would be fine because there was still so much month left. I didn't have to worry about a few thousand words, I could make them up that weekend, or on my next day off. It would be fine.

Now, though, it's so close to the end of the month, and thinking about how much writing I still have to do in order to get to the goal I set for myself, I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. It doesn't seem to matter to my brain that I have already written two entire books in ten days each. It keeps trying to tell me that this is just not going to work. That there simply is not enough time left to get everything done.

So today I am telling my brain 'Shut up Brain!' and getting on with my day. Mostly because it's twelve hour, and do I really have time to have that argument with my brain? No. No I don't. But also because I have to write 15k today, and if my brain keeps telling me that I can't do it, I won't do it.

Here are the facts. I have had 5 15k days so far this month. So what's one or two more? I have 2 completed novels printed out and waiting for me to start editing them. (One will be used during critique group. The other is set aside for NaNoEdMo in March). I am almost half way through a third novel which is the sequel to the novel I started editing before nano and will continue to edit afterward, hopefully fast enough to get it into ABNA.

One more fun little fact for you: I AM going to hit my 300k goal. I AM going to allow myself to buy the nano messenger bag I've been eyeing since they put it up. I AM going to start looking for an agent next year because writing IS what I am going to do with my life.

I am not going to let my brain dictate to me anymore. I am good enough to be an author. I have written almost 6 novels now, and I will not let that go to waste. They will not all end up in the dusty folder in the back of my computer never to be seen from again. I refuse!

The End.

Challenge Accepted

At the beginning of the month I was challenged by a friend of mine to write a blog post every day of the month. And this is on top of my goal of 300, 000 words written for NaNoWriMo. I, being someone who has a hard time refusing such challenges, of course said yes.

Earlier in the month, that friend managed to miss a day. And, I’ll admit, I might have been a little petty in my taunting of her. After all, she was the one to issue the challenge, and she was the one who had missed a day. I was having a great time, making fun of her for missing that day.

Well, last night I forgot to post a blog. I can give you my excuses (I had been trying to get some writing done and had gotten really frustrated and tired, so I gave up and decided to give myself a bit of a day off. I figured I could catch up later and I ended up watching some tv shows and just going to bed.) but the fact of it is, I missed a day.

I actually went to bed, it was just after midnight, snuggled under the covers, and my eyes flew open as I realized that I had never posted anything…it was a saddening moment. If you had been there, you would have cried. I swear it.

So now I’m am blogless on the 23^rd, and I keep staring at my blog thinking ‘I’m only going to have 29 posts for November’ and there’s really nothing I can do about that. Except make two blog posts in one day, and I think that might be cheating. In fact, it is cheating, and who would be happy with that? Not me…

I’m expecting much taunting and teasing when I see her on Saturday, and I will accept nothing less. After all, we’ve both missed a day now. Neither of us can claim to have won this challenge. Perhaps it’s one we’ll try again next year. And if it is, I know that I’ll end the month with that perfect number 30 showing beside November.

What I do know is that I’ve already run out of topics to post about. Hence this post about a missed post. Who knows what I’ll write about tomorrow! Though it may involve monkeys…

Anyway, I am officially recommitting myself to this challenge. As of today I will not miss another day this month. That number will not fall below 29!

Next years New Years Resolution: Stop accepting insane challenges.

A Whole New World

Yesterday I had to find a way to dive into a new world. I finished my second novel on Sunday, and those characters were still talking to me. Pointing out that, once again, my epilogue didn't follow the path I had laid out for it. Telling me what they thought should happen at the beginning of the next book and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

This is what typically happens when I finish a novel. My characters give me absolute gold...but only once I'm done. And I tend to spend at least a couple of hours writing things down and already seeing the next novel coming to life in my head. (For anyone who doesn't know me, I should probably explain. I can't quite figure out how to write a stand alone book. I've tried, but my plots are always so much bigger than that...)

Unfortunately, because my plans for this month were so high, I no longer have time to just sit and write down all of these things my characters are telling me. In fact, when I finish one novel, I need to move onto the next without giving myself much time at all to wrap up the last one.

What ends up happening is that I stare at the blank first page of the new novel for ever, while the other characters continue talking to me, and try to get the new characters to open up and start talking. It's a frustrating process, as I tend to write a lot less than I should, and a lot slower, because the new characters aren't yet asserting themselves and becoming a priority.

I know that I'll probably be back into it by tonight. Though I still have a few pictures from the last book running through my head, I'm also starting to think of the new book and the events that are coming up (some of them I'm really excited for, as this book is actually a sequel, and I've been wanting some of these events to happen for quite a while now.) In the meantime, though, I find myself falling a little further behind everyday, and getting headaches from the clashing characters and worlds.

The worst part is I have yet to adapt to the voice of this novel, and I keep throwing in things from the last. Thankfully I'll be able to catch those things when I eventually get to the editing phase (I'll probably put it off as long as possible...) Still, I would really like to get back into this world that I once knew so well.

With any luck tonight I'll be able to pull myself back in and not get too much farther behind. But, even if I can't catch up with my goal, that's alright, because I already have far more words than I had before the month started, and really, that's what nano is all about.

Falling Into Your World

In an average month I can read between five and fifteen books in a month (depending on how much time I have, what's going on in my life, and how many books are in my 'to read' pile.) I get into these novels like most people wouldn't believe. I often can't hear what's going on around me because I'm so focused in. I cry when characters die, and throw the book across the room when the author pisses me off. (I refrain from doing this when I'm reading on my kindle...I hear it isn't so good for it...)

In other words, its about the same as when I'm writing.

This month I have yet to read a single book. I think I may be going into withdrawal, in fact. I'll let you know in the next couple of days if I see any more symptems. Anyway, the point of the matter is, I haven't jumped into any one else's worlds, or grown attached to anyone elses characters in 21 days, and I should be feeling like I need to. Those books piled up should be calling to me. Begging me to pick them up, to read them. Condemning me for neglecting them.

Instead all of those voices have been shoved aside, their room claimed by my characters that are making their presence known. They've figured out that they have a limited time with my full attention, and they're fighting for it.

Now I'm falling into my own worlds. Getting caught up in the lives of my own characters (which are often vastly different that I originally planned for them. Who would have thought. And I don't want to pick up those books. I don't want to get caught up in another world, not while things in mine are so tense.

I think I realized this for the first time the other day. When I realized that I hadn't carried a book even in my bag the entire month, replaced as they were by the laptop that now travels with me everywhere in case I have time to get some writing done.

It was when this realization hit me that I truly began to believe that I am now more a writer than a reader. Rather than being the person that reads someone elses words and yells at their choices, I'm making my own. I'm putting myself out there instead of pretending that I don't have any characters bouncing around in my head.

Now I can't wait to discover just how many worlds are trapped in my brain, just waiting to make their way to the page and show themselves to other people.

I'll get back to the books in December. For now, I'm happy to be writing.

Here We Go Again

So here we are again. Only a few short thousand words away from finishing my second novel of the month, and I'm starting to get exhausted, and yet exhilarated all at once. Never in my life did I ever think that I would actually finish three novels in a single month, and yet here we are, 20 days in and two novels done!

I have mixed feelings as I always do. First, I don't want to leave these characters. They're starting to really open up to me, and I'm starting to get the impression that there's even more going on in this world than even I was aware if, including one good guy that's really a bad guy, and one love interest who has currently set his sights on the wrong girl. Neither or which are something that I like to turn my back on, but as I don't have a sequel to this planned out and I do have a different novel planned out, I think we all know which one I'm going to do.

Before we go any further, I'd like to mention that yes, I am a freak of nature, yes I have been told that, and yes people have pointed to my nano chart and called it a mutant. Moving on.

The problem is that as my characters start to open up it's harder and harder to tear myself away from them. I want to continue their story to find out what else is going to happen. And whose going to end up together, because at this point I really don't know if it's who I originally thought would. Just like a reader who isn't satisfied with reading one book in a series, I find myself wanting to write more and more.

But I know I have to force myself out of that world for a while. For one thing, if I stay there too long I'm going to get sick of it, and then I wont want to write the entire series. For another, I have other things I need to focus on, much as I may not want to. I have other novels that I have started, and other series that are begging me for my attention. Besides, if I stay buried in the world for too long someone might report me as missing, and that would be really embarrassing when the police showed up at my house and found me frantically writing at my computer long after November ended. Just saying.

So despite how much I want to stick with it, I have to finish off these last few chapters and move on. I have to give these characters a chance to take a break. To breath while I work on something else for a while.

They can rest assured, however, as there's no way I'm not coming back to it. Not with all of these little twists that even I didn't predict.

Killing Our Characters

The killing of characters can be a sad or happy occasion. I recently wrote a scene where I killed a character that I happened to like. Unfortunately, it had to happen. Her death is the catalyst for one of my other characters realizing that she's really not in a good situation. It's the reason that she leaves that situation. If her death didn't happen, my main character couldn't learn what she needs to learn, and the story would never move forward.

The problem is that, as I was writing the scene, I wanted to cry. I wanted to put the book down and walk away. Pretend I had never written that scene and act like she was still alive. That's what I do when I'm reading a book, so why can't I do that when I'm writing it?

Characters, much as we may not like to admit it, are just tools that writers have to use. Yes, my characters are now all yelling at me about how they're not just tools, and how dare I refer to them as such, but we all know it's true. They're how we tell a story, and sometimes that means that we have to kill them. Or have something horrible happen to them. (And now they're all cowering in a corner and promising to be good if I just don't kill them. Too bad for them I'm a particularly morbid author, and plan and killing most of the Muahahah!!)

*Ahem* anyway. The point of the matter is that it's a necessary evil. Our characters have to sometimes be killed for either a plot point, or to motivate another one of our characters. It must be done! And what you need to remember (okay...and maybe I need to remember too) is that those reactions that we're having, where we're practically crying or just plain angry that we had to do it, that is what our readers are going to have too. They're going to be the ones crying, or throwing their books across the room and declaring that they're pissed and how dare we (as the authors) kill off their favorite character. Do we even realize what we have done?

That is what motivates me to continue. Despite all the protesting from the characters who die in my head. Or the other characters telling us that we can't do that to them. What are they going to do without that other character? I keep reminding myself of what it will be like the first time someone tells me that they threw their book across the room. (Which is a good thing for me...as that's what I do when I'm angry at something in a book)

More than anything I want to evoke emotions in my readers. I want them to cry, to yell at the books, to throw them. Whatever they have to do. I don't care. I just want people to feel what I felt when I wrote it.

That is the goal of any writer.

The Life of the Planner

Hello, and welcome to this weeks edition of When Your Characters Hate You or Why Don't You Ever Do What I Want You To?

In today's show we're going to discuss characters that like to veer of the well trodden path. The one that you mapped out for them with a highlighter, explained the dangers of the other paths, even put some obstacles on them so they didn't even want to go that way. The path you paved in gold and lined in signs telling your characters this is the way you should go. I've planned it. If you go this way, we wont have a problem. And they still go the wrong way.

If you're anything like me, you have a multitude of issues with your characters ranging from (but not limited to) them letting you think they're doing one thing in a novel, and doing something entirely different, minor characters forcing their way into a major plot line, characters eloping with each other, and love interests dying before they have a chance to become love interests.

The worst part about any of this is the nice lovely plan you had all ready to go. The plot that you spent longer working out than you'll spend writing the novel itself (or is that just me??). The one that you're sure your characters will actually stick to this time, only to have them completely veer off track, leaving you scrambling to try and fix the plot so that you're not fitting scenes in that don't make sense.

In the end, of course, you're left with a bit of a mess. Half of your novel sticks to your plot, the other goes in whatever direction your characters decided they wanted to take. You have to edit all the things that no longer make sense, even though when you were working on the plot you were snickering about how clever you were to put that in. And you have to figure out what your characters will be pissed at you for taking out and make sure to leave it in (unless your goal is to actually anger your characters, cause then you should definitely take them out...though I don't actually recommend this plan of action.)

If you've ever had any of these problems, rest assured. Things will turn out for the best. Because, once you get that mess of a novel in your hand and read it through (after taking a couple of weeks off so that you aren't tempted to just chuck it all, or kill off all of your characters) you'll realize that all of those things that pulled the characters off of the golden path actually makes the novel that much better.

Because, no matter how much you plan, you still have to do what's best for your characters. You have to take into account what they want. Not that you didn't when you were plotting, it's just that the characters evolve as you write them, and suddenly what they wanted before isn't anywhere near what would make them happy after a few chapters.

Don't be alarmed when your characters start to take on a life of their own. It just means that your doing your job as a writer. Those characters that take over are the ones that are going to feel real on the page. They're going to be who your audience falls in love with, and they're going to be the ones that you'll mourn when you have to kill them off, or finish the novel/series.

That concludes our program for the evening. Stay tuned next week when we discuss worlds and how they suddenly became much more complex then you originally intended.

The Pens In Our Lives

So, I have a pen. It's one of those ones that hang on a cord around your neck so that you have it with you everywhere you go. I got it from winning a word war at one of the NaNoWriMo events in my region. Usually the stuff in the box is just little random things that no one would ever buy for themselves, but when you get to pick it out of a box as a prize seems fantastically awesome.

Anyway, I picked the pen out of the box because I thought, hey, I like pens. Why not. Besides, it looked like it might work better than any of the other pens I had decided to grab out of the box for that very reason, and it's actually kind of cute. The best part is that it has black ink, which is my favorite kind.

Turns out the pen may very well be the best thing that's every happened to me. I know you're out there laughing because I'm gushing about a pen. Well let me tell you. It has yet to fail me. I use it to track my word count (because yes, I am just that organized) and every time I need it, there it is. Around my neck. Ready to go.

It doesn't care that in those fifteen minutes when I usually write a thousand words I only wrote eight hundred. It doesn't care that I'm, technically, almost 20k behind my goal. The pen is nonjudgmental, and I like that.

Now you're all wondering just how crazy nano has made me, as I'm rambling on about a pen. Of course, this post could be about a pen that I chose to write about because I've run out of topics thanks to a challenge I received wherein I have to write a blog post a day, but I like to think it's more than that. I like to think that this pen has helped me in my writing endeavours.

It's stuck by my side loyally, not even complaining when I accidentally left it at home, though it really did have the right to. It tirelessly does everything I ask of it, and it understands that I have to somewhat ignore it in favour of my keyboard during November.

How many relationships like that do you have in your life? Yeah. That's what I thought.

So, I decided to take this moment to dedicate a blog to the pens in all of our lives. Those that stand by us even when we hate ourselves and everything we've ever written. Those that allow us to be grumpy to them because our characters are giving us a hard time. Those that have supper on the table every night when you've got yourself tied to your computer chair in an effort to get those words done.

We could all use a few more pens in our lives...

Is It Hot In Here? Cause My Motivation Evaporated...

So, remember how I said that my motivation is competition? Don't worry, I didn't lie to you. If there is competition, I'm willing to up my word count. I'm willing to spend hours at my desk, causing back aches and wrist weakness, just so that I keep that number one spot and don't let anyone pass me. And if someone starts to get close, you can bet that my next day off is going to be spent trying to get as many words as I can so that I'm not worried about them passing me while I'm at work.

Unfortunately, there's a rather nasty side effect. When people start dropping further and further behind me, and I no long have someone telling me that they're going to beat me no matter what it takes, all of that motivation suddenly evaporates. Like it wasn't even there. Suddenly I”m negotiating with myself. Telling myself that I increased my original goal, so if I don't hit my new goal it'll be fine. I don't really need to catch up. I can come in 10k behind. It will all be alright!

And yet, no matter how many of those conversations I have with myself (I swear I don't answer myself back...okay...maybe I do...) I can't quite convince myself that I wont fee disappointed at the end of the month when I'm not sitting at 300k. Because I know I will. I know that I'll think I could have done better. Especially since nothing really has come up. No emergencies that have dragged me kicking and screaming (or just a little too willing) from my keyboard. Not even an unexpected day at work. Instead, I'm just not quite as willing to stay up late to get the word count. Or to give up my shows so I have more time to write.

I need the motivation back. I need people to come on the chat and outright challenge me to a word duel (I'll even take a handicap, I swear.) I need to get that excitement and drive back so that I can finish this nano with a bang, rather than limp across the midnight finish line unable to hold my word count up as what I wanted to do.

Or maybe I just need to stop watching the shows that distract me from my characters, and bury myself in their world. Put myself in their shoes and let that drive me for a while. It works for other writers, why not me? I can change my motivation!

In the mean time, though, I think I'll continue to hang around the chat until someone comes along to word war with. Then I'll start writing.

Halfway to Salvation

Here we are, November 15^th, and we're halfway through this crazy journey we call NaNoWriMo. In the first week we found ourselves excited and wanting nothing more than to write those words. Determined that this year we were going to write that amazing book that was going to get published with the first draft. We went to all of the write ins, laughed with other writers, explained what we were writing, commenting on how great it was going to be in the end, and were generally hopeful and certain that we were going to win.

The second week is the onset of the second week slump. On a rather abrupt shift from the first week, this one was dotted with our own self doubt, threatening to give up on multiple occasions, and the general acceptance that this isn't the best novel in the world. While we still laughed at write ins, when asked what we're writing, the answer usually falls between 'YA' and leaving it at that and 'absolute crap.' This is nearly always answered with a remark from a fellow writer about how you can't expect perfection on the first try, and that you have to just keep going. You can edit it later. Usually a smile and nod was given when this is said while in our minds we're wondering how we're supposed to keep going when we hate our main character, there's no plot and you're not entirely certain that your villain is a villain.

Yesterday marked the beginning of the third week, and with the halfway point hitting, we are finally pulling out of that slump and accepting the advice that was given to us then. We're pushing past the block that had us telling ourselves that we are possibly the worst writer in existence and what made us think that we could actually do this? While we accept that we probably wont get the first draft published – or even allow anyone to read it – we're not quite so certain that we will never be published. In fact, we might even be starting to plan what we're going to do when it comes time to start editing.

Today many regions will be having midway bashes. Parties that (at least in our region) don't actually include any writing. This can be great, or it can be bad. For example, I'm behind for my goal and wishing I could just go home and get some writing done. At the same time, though, I'm so excited to go and see people (or meet people for the first time) that I'm willing to give myself the pass...even though it means that I will be writing non stop over the weekend.

At the bash, we'll probably talk about all the fun stuff, like the fact that week four is quickly approached, which is filled with frantic writing, as everyone is still trying to catch up from the second week slump and the mutterings of more than one writer swearing that they're so not going to finish, and how does anybody manage to get this done every year?

While I can certainly understand wanting to just keep writing, and not being willing to go out (I've become a hermit. I'm just lucky my boyfriend is also a wrimo and understands when I veto the movie and suggest we just get together and write...) I also have to express that taking time off is just as important as writing. Go to that party and commiserate with other writers fighting the same problems that you're having. Discuss those plots that you just can't figure out and listen to the suggestions other people give you, because they could have a fresh take that will completely inspire you.

Enjoy yourself. Don't think that you have to suffer because your writing, or doing nano. Because while it is about getting those words on the page, it's also about having some fun. You've got to have fun while you're writing. Don't get overwhelmed and let yourself relax once and a while. Your writing will be all the better for it.

Nano Brains...

Before you get your hopes up, no, this post is not about zombies.

I am currently at work, and I'm here to tell you that squishy brain resulting from nano is a real thing. It is a a terrible, horrible disease that takes away all rational reasoning, the ability to function at a higher level than a six year old, and forces you to make so many mistakes you wonder if it's possible that you were ever actually trained.

Rest assured, squishy brain does not translate onto the page.

You may be wondering what I'm talking about. During the month of November, I've found that I spend so much time with my characters and living in their world that when I start to get back to the real one where I live and work in, my brain seems to refuse to concentrate. Which means I end up making mistakes at work that would normally never come up. Or I have to ask my manager to walk me through a process I've done a hundred times or more.

This certainly isn't something that's confined just to me, either. I've been out with friends who have suddenly paused in the middle of a sentence, having no idea what they were just about to say. Or who have said something completely different than they meant.

I've even had people make up words.

In case you're wondering, if anyone asks you what's up, you are allowed to give them the excuse 'It's nano.' While anyone who isn't doing nano might not understand the excuse, anyone who does will give you an instant pass.

There is a cure to this, of course. You may have guessed what it is. The end of November. Once December hits and you can finally sleep a full night without your characters trying to demand that you don't need sleep when their story is obviously more important, you will find yourself moving out of the danger zone for squishy brain. You'll start to function normally and realize that there is a world out there that isn't one you created and your characters live in.

Until, December, however, we have to make do with our not quite up to par squishy brain and hope there isn't too much fallout when we wake up December 1^st. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not see it yet (or maybe you just can't seem to name it...) but it's there, I promise. And while you may be thinking that this is not worth it, I promise you, it is.

Because at the end of the month, when your brain is back to normal, you will wake up and have a novel that you've written. Disregard the edits for a minute, and just sit back and relish the fact that you accomplished your goal. That you have words on a page that you can work with. And isn't that worth a little squishy brain?

For the Zombies: No. squishy brain is not a delicacy.

Live And In Person

Today I went to a write in for NaNoWriMo. That means that a bunch of people in our region got together to get some writing done.

The first time I went to one, I was so nervous. I remember changing my mind about going multiple times until I finally decided I was going to do it no matter what. Then when I got there I was super shy, hung out at my table (which they had to set up when I got there because there was no more room left) and then we did a word war. Which I, of course, thought was fantastic, until they started going around giving word counts and I realized that I had a word count that was about double what everyone else was giving and I had to frantically recount just to make sure I wasn't lying.

I hadn't gotten it wrong, of course, hence how I ended up with my current nickname. But at the time, I was a nervous wreck, certain I was going to do something wrong.

I learned something useful that day. A few things, really. First (and most important) you can't 'do something wrong' at a write in. Well, you can, but only if you do it on purpose. Second, write ins help out a lot.

Not only did that one write in add competition to the whole concept of writing, but it also helped me to realize just how many people were out there writing. How many people gave up their Novembers to the insanity that is Nano. And it also made me realize that, yes, there are other people like me out there. People who have characters talking to them, and for the first time, I really fit in.

Now I go to every single write in. The ones during November, the ones during the rest of the year, because I belong now. I've found a place for myself, and I couldn't be more ecstatic. Not all write ins are productive, of course. Some are more for the purpose of catching up with other people that you have met in your journeys. But I find that even when I'm at one of these write ins where more talking than actual writing happens, it's helpful. To hear everyone's word counts, or see someone running up to that bell to ring it. I love it all, and it motivates me to write more than anything else in the world (aside from competition, of course...) It doesn't really matter, because it's those write ins that keep me going throughout the month.

Today happened to be a very productive write in. This was thanks, in large part, to a longer time frame. (Because of previous issues we had to change the venue, and in order to get tables, we had to get there early. Then the new venue gave us a room, instead of tables and we didn't, but we had already decided to go, so it ended up being 5 hours long.) But it was also thanks to the mass amount of word wars that we did.

Normally we're at a restaurant, and people are ordering food, and there's a lot of table hopping. Today felt more like we were getting down to business. We did word war after word war, and I don't think there is a single person who went today (who joined in the wars) that went home thinking about how unproductive they had been.

And the greatest part was all the new faces. People who have never been to write ins before came out in full force, and I couldn't help but remember my first write in, and hope that theirs was just as good as mine.

If you don't go to write ins in your region, trust me, they're worth it. They're filled with crazy writers who all complain about their characters and give you quirky nicknames. They're awesome. And they will push you forward, even when you're struggling or behind. And maybe, just maybe, you'll push someone else too, and realize that nano isn't just about getting those words down. It's about the community around you. Put yourself out there. You wont regret it.

The Magic Words

This is the novel that I wrote in the first ten days of November.

I got to say those words this week, and the feeling I got from it was incredible. On Thursday I finished the first of three novels I have planned out to write this month, and, as always, I got it printed out. Binding and everything. (Just coil, but I love doing it....) Then on Friday, when I met with some friends who are also doing NaNoWriMo this year, I got to hold it up and show them my accomplishments.

My novel has mistakes. There are at least two chapters (Though I'm actually thinking more like 3 or 4) that I'm going to have to completely rewrite. As one point I couldn't remember what I had named one of the creatures and used the first word I could think of (which happens to be from gaiaonline...don't ask...) and on more than one occasion I forgot to go back and add in eye/hair colour that I couldn't remember when I was actually writing.

I know all of this. I say it to everyone who says something like 'that's amazing!' or 'I want to read that!' and normally it's what drags me down from the high of writing. Realizing just how much work I still have to put into it.

During Nano, though, I honestly couldn't care less. I keep picking up the book and looking it over. Randomly flipping through the pages as if I'm looking for something when I'm really just marvelling that it's done. That I wrote that novel, and I'm going to write two more before the end of the month. And I couldn't be happier.

Right at this moment, all I want to do is go around and tell every wrimo out there, the ones who are ahead, the ones who are on track, but especially the ones that are behind, that it is worth it. That when you're done you can print out that book (in whatever fashion you prefer) and hold it in your hands and know that you wrote that.

Forget about the mistakes and edits your going to have to make. Give yourself a minute to sit back and realize that you are, indeed, a writer. That you have written a manuscript. Whether if gets published or even read, it doesn't matter. You wrote that 50,000 words.

Because no one can take away that joy you feel as you realize what you've accomplished. And believe me, it is an accomplishment. Let December or January bring on the edits that will make you realize just how bad word wars can make you write, and for now, rejoice in the fact that you've done it.

You're a writer.

There is Life Outside Nano

Today, for the first time this November, I actually have plans that aren't 'so...I'm going to write today...'. These are actual plans made with actual friends (most of whom are also doing nano, but I assure you, there will be no writing involved.) And I bet all of you can guess what is currently going through my mind.

When am I going to get my writing done?

I've been up since ten thirty, and of course I procrastinated for the first hour (who wouldn't?) by watching the latest episode Grey's Anatomy. (By the way...it was far too sad of an episode...just putting it out there.) Then, after realizing that I had just wasted an hour of the few that I had to do all my writing and get ready, I started to frantically write.

This may have been the worst day to pick for doing this, too, as I'm planning on doing the 11-11-11 challenge (write 11,111 words today) which is higher than my normal goal of 10k. Not by much, but enough to make me panic a bit, as I wasn't entirely certain that I would get that done today, never mind the higher goal.

Add to that this blog post. The challenge that a certain friend of mine (who shall go nameless...you know who I'm talking about) gave to me at the beginning of the month stipulates that I must put up a blog post every day. I can't take a break one day and put up two the next day, this has to be up today.

So now I'm panicking a little. I'm going to be picked up in three hours, and I have less than half the writing I need done.

Of course, the fact that I'm getting together with a bunch of writers doesn't help. Because of previous high word counts, it's not pretty much expected of me. So when I start to fall behind, people look at me in horror, and I feel almost like I'm ruining all of their hopes and dreams. As if by me falling behind they can't ever expect to catch up.

Okay...so maybe that's not quite true. But needless to say, I feel a little ashamed when I start falling behind. How can I set such high standards for myself and then not meet them? I feel like I'm trying to talk myself up and failing completely.

Regardless of that, however, I know that whether I get my words written or not, I've already won. 100K words in 10 days is far better than I did last year, and if I surpass my 154k from last year, then I can certainly be happy with myself.

Now if only I could relax and enjoy the day out...

Almost There...

So, here it is, day 10, and I just realized something. I am almost done my first nano 2011 novel. As a cyborg, I decided that I would write about 200k this year (which may have turned into 300k thanks to a certain someone telling me they were going to beat me this year...just saying) Which means, of course, that more than one novel is going to have to be written.

I'm guessing that all of my novels this year will end at about 100k words. (This is actually more what I'm hoping, because if they don't, then I don't have enough planned out to finish the month, and the last week is not going to be fun...) As I'm sitting at 90k right now, that means that tonight I should be finished the first of the three.

While this is, of course, exciting, I'm finding it a little sad at the same time. I only got to spend 10 days with these characters, and I know they have so much more they want to tell me. Like the fact that Llios is madly in love with Tiaeryn but can't tell her because they are literally not the same species. Or that Tiaeryn may have fallen in love with Jaerd, despite everything, but feels like she can't stay in that world.

How am I going to move on when there's still so much to do in this world?

The problem is that I have a hard time writing stand alone novels. And by hard time, I really mean that I just can't do it. I can't throw everything I know about my characters into one novel. Even my plots seem to get so outrageously big that one novel just wouldn't cut it.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Why not just write the sequel this month too, since I'm obviously worried that I might not be able to get enough words out of the novels I have planned. Here's the thing, even now I know that this novel is going to require a lot of editing to be remotely ready to be read. And if I'm editing this novel after writing the next novel and I have to change something, that's a whole lot of editing to be done on the second novel too. And I hate editing. With a passion.

So now I'm stuck. I have no way to prolong my journey into this world. These characters will have to be pushed to the back of my mind after only 10 days of attention.

Of course, I can console myself with the fact that I will be diving into another world after tonight, one that I've been just as excited to write as this one. And I'll have a whole new cast of characters that I can talk to and figure out.

So I will go home tonight and finish this story, then say bye for now to the characters that have helped to shape this world. Then, after nano is done, I can come back to it and start the fun editing process. Then I'll see them again, even if it is while I'm beating my head against a wall.

Time to Play a Little Catch Up

So today I got to play a little catch up. Before any of you say anything, yes I am aware that I hit the 50k last week, but I can promise you that I still have a long way to go to hit my goal. And, I realize that I put myself in this position, but I'm just saying, the higher your goal, the easier it is to fall behind. And the harder it is to catch up.

Today I ended up writing 15k (something I hadn't wanted to do, since when I did that the first day, my wrists were killing afterward) and, yes I did get caught up. But I also had to spend the entire writing. As much as I love writing, I also happen to enjoy my days off, so I had been hoping to be caught up before today.

So, now I'm caught up to my goal, and tomorrow I get to go back to work.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't like my job. I do. It's probably one of the best jobs I've ever held. It has it's downfalls, for one it's customer service, and we all know that not all customers are actually all that smart. But for the most part, I enjoy going to work. I love the people I work with, and it's definitely a step up from my last job.

The problem is, now that I've caught up, I'm looking at tomorrow and wondering, am I going to get everything done tomorrow? Or is it going to be another day where I end up just a few words shy of my goal. A few words that I can't quite make up the next day and end up getting further away from my goal. And on my next day off is it going to be another day of trying to get my word count back up to were it's supposed to be?

And then all those other things I want to do, like maybe keep up with at least a couple of shows during November, or finishing the plot for my third novel, which I may in fact need before the month is up, or maybe, just maybe, getting to sit down and read a book that someone else wrote. Am I going to be able to do any of that? Because if I fall behind again, it's doubtful.

So right about now, even after the successful day I had, all I can think about is whether or not I really should have decided to up my goal to 10k a day (effectively 300k) rather than the 200 I had originally settle on. Is this going to be worth it in the end, or am I just going to have crap sitting in front of me and two wrists that refuse to stop hurting?

This is, I suppose, my version of the second week slump. Many people start to taper off right around now. The high of starting the month begins to wear off, and life begins to intrude, and they start to wonder what exactly did they sign up for.

What did I sign up for? And why was I so crazy as to think I could do it?

With a renewed hope to hit my goal, and two tired wrists, I've decided that I'm going to do it if it kills me. Because when I'm done writing this month, and I get my novels printed out, I know that I'm going to look at them and think that this was something I will never regret. Three finished novels. In one month. Not many people can claim that. That makes it worth it. Right?

Character Love is Such a Fickle Thing...

I'm just over the halfway mark in my novel, and I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I was completely wrong when I was doing my planning. I was under the mistaken belief that I would know who I liked and who I didn't when I was writing this thing.

Boy was I wrong. First and foremost, on of my characters, who I knew I would like, somewhat, but would also think was a jackass, is completely opening up to one of my other characters, and I love him so much! In fact, I think that his fiancee, who I originally thought I'd like and maybe even feel sorry for, even if she is a bit stupid, is a complete idiot. I find her annoying, and more than once I've had the urge to give her a nice smack across the face (even if I have to get one of my other characters to do it for me.

And if that's not bad enough, my main story line is making me cringe, and I'm finding myself leaning more toward the subplot. Why? Please, someone tell me why!

I've come to a very important conclusion this nano. I've decided that the reason this is happening (and I've suspected this for a long time to come) is that no matter what I do to get to know my characters before I put that figurative pen to paper, it's absolutely impossible to get to know your characters until you've actually put them in situations and written about them.

Take, for example, the prince that's sole purpose in my novel is to illicit jealousy from another character. He was supposed to be loveable so that a character fell for him to invoke said jealousy. Instead he comes off more like a playboy, or a used car salesman.. And, I was worried because I thought that she would so not fall for that kind of person. I was wrong. I would have never guessed that from the way they came across in my character bibiles, but there you have it.

Remember, nano is all about getting the words on the page, and not worrying about making it perfect. But don't underestimate your characters. No matter how much thought you put into them, they never quite listen to what you tell them, and you always end up with more than enough surprises.

Rants, Rages and Respect

Yesterday our lovely MLs arranged a write in for the wrimotaurs. They always work so hard to find us venues that can deal with our very specific needs. As most of you are aware, we need plug ins for our laptops (some of us struggling artists can't quite afford brand new computers, which means that batteries don't always hold their charge, and numerous other issues that can arise). As we can have upwards of 20 people at the meets, that usually means there are extension cords that tend to run all over the floor, and with that many people, in a restaurant, you can bet that people are going to be eating.

Anyone who knows our MLs can tell you that there is no way in hell they would forget to mention any of the above. It just doesn't happen.

So what I don't understand is how we can arrive at a venue, which seemed to work so perfectly, only to encounter a headache.? How can 'yes we do have plug ins' turn into 'wait, you want to use our power'? And please, someone, tell me how it is possibly okay to ignore 26 people in your restaurant, and glare at them when you are serving them?

Now, I'm not going to name names. And, I'm certainly not going to turn this blog into a rant, so those are the only details I'm going to mention. But suffice it to say, by the end of the write in (which turned out awesome, thanks of course to the wrimotaurs who showed up and didn't let a little pesky venue issues ruin their fun!) many of us weren't very happy.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I find nano a hard enough venture. Now imagine trying to get your word count in (whatever your goal may be) while trying to find a new venue for our Sunday write ins? Or dealing with other venues telling you that they are no longer open 24 hours?

Personally, I think our MLs are heroes.

So today, on this the seventh day of Nano the 13^th, I say we all give our MLs a cheer for all they do for us. A quick email to thank them for their hard work. A hug when you see them at the write in. Whatever you have to do, make sure your ML knows how much you appreciate everything they do!

Who knows, enough hugs might help them with whatever headache they have to face next week.